Bragging

I have to post this picture of my "child" because it is just SO cute. Mia in her favorite spot on the daybed watching me work at the computer.

I think she must sleep all day long while I am away at work. Last night she woke up at 1:30am and I could not get her to go back to sleep. I even locked her in her kennel for an hour with a chew toy and listened to an hour of whining. It was not a good night for me....

Todd and I get up every morning around five and take her for a walk. Unfortunately. Mia has started regularly waking up at 4am. She will wiggle around for a half hour, semi-quietly, then try to get us up in earnest from about 4:30 onward.. While I can justify getting up at 5am.....

I just can not figure out how to get my dog to sleep through the night.

Yardwork

Yesterday was the first sunny day all week! And it was stellar. I worked on cleaning out some flowerbeds and edging while Todd mowed the lawn. We finally don't have to hang our heads as one of the not-so-tidy houses on the street.

Though, I don't think Todd was prepared for the physical labor..... I caught a great photo of Todd, Jasper and Mia all conked out on the couch.

I sculpted for about an hour on the finger detail of the lower hand then moved to my checklist for my second piece. I was able to do all of the calculations and wrote out my timeline and weekly deadlines. Tonight when I get home, I hope to sculpt for at least a half hour and finish that hand, then draw out my measurements.

I found out that I did not get into the art competition. I wallowed in disappointment for about an hour and then moved on. I plan on entering as much as I can so there will be others.

I feel great about First Bond. I think she is beautiful and has fulfilled my expectations. I am looking forward to meeting with the foundry this Friday and getting her cast this next month.

And I am starting to get very excited about my new piece..... : )

Tweeking

It drizzled all day long today. Constant..steady..gloomy.. and cold.

I was really looking forward to mowing the lawn. The first cut of Spring. I have always loved the smell of fresh cut grass. It takes me back to when I was eleven and mowing the lawn was my weekly responsibility. I loved the smell, the lush green and the instant gratification of shaggy disorder to perfect. Hmmmm. : )

I made some yummy omelets for breakfast while Todd handled some super strong lattes. Halfway through the cheesy goodness, the vet called to let us know that Mia had tested positive for worms. Lovely.... So, off to the North Seattle to pick up medication and contemplate all possible instances of undesired sharing that might have occurred....

The rest of the morning was spent washing bedding, floors, Mia. We now have a renewed interest in crate training as a great option for nightly sleeping arrangements...

I finally got to some sculpting this afternoon. I had been thinking for the last few days that the belly need to be a little lower and a little fuller. But I hated the thought I trying to move that lower hand. I finally just went for it and was able to cut underneath it and pull it down with minimal damage to the arm and finger detail. I added quite abit to the lower belly...just making it feel a little weightier. I like it. I now have rework the lower arm and the hand but I think I can do that tomorrow morning. She is almost there. I need to stop making changes. I don't want to over process her and have her lose the energy and sense of raw medium.

Tomorrow. I want to write down my goals for my new prenatal sculpture. I would like to start that on Wednesday, April 1st.

So by next weekend my check list is to have:

1. List of Goals for my new piece - what do I want it to say?

2. Timeline of actual calendar dates - What level do I want to achieve each week?

3. Measurement List - All measurements drawn out and ready to post

4. New Armature - Already completed 3 weeks ago

5. Portfolio of Photos

It is very important that I stick to a set schedule with this next piece. I mentally believe that I can complete a sculpture in 8 weeks. Now I just have to prove it to myself.

Progess and Prespiration

I love Thursdays! I am looking forward to the next three days of being able to focus entirely on StudioBurdick. When I work during the day I am so tired by the time that I get home that I have meager and very sub-inspired juice to give to sculpting. And by the time I eat and walk Mia, talk to my husband, do laundry etc.... I have learned to celebrate even a half hour of evening sculpting. This has been a productive week through. The gentleman from the foundry WAS out of town last week and finally called me back. He was very polite and professional so I set up an appointment with him for next Friday. I plan on looking at photos of First Bond with him and well as some of my more detailed previous work. I need to know if he is capable of producing the work that I want and well as a good patina finish. What his average lead time is. Expense. All that good stuff that will help me move further along with my business plan and finally give me an idea of what final cost will be. I should talk to the potential foundry in Canada and the one in Spokane before meeting. Just so that I am a little more educated about what the competition can provide. A foundry in Seattle would be an excellent find if it does meet the criteria.

The last few nights I have been working on the detail of the upper hand on First Bond. I have put in at least an hour each night. I feel really good about what I am accomplishing though am surprised and trying not to get discouraged about how long these details are taking. I keep telling myself..After I make it through this one, the next one is going to go so much smoother and the next after that. I am just still paving the road. : )

My sculpting hero is Bernini. His work has the amazing ability to wow and inspire me and then make me feel very small and inadequate. I try to focus on the wow and inspiring part of that but sometimes.......

Bernini's "The Rape of Proserpina" in one of my favorite sculptures. The skin seems so soft and pliable under the griping hands. The fact that those details are carved from stone without the benefit of being able to use a soft clay medium totally wows the socks off me. I aspire to be able to produce that effect of soft "give" in my pieces.

Accomplishment Log

I intended to log all hours I spent sculpting and list accomplishments and lessons learned after each session. Alas .....Life. This weekend it was a fallen tree in the back yard (tears of sorrow :( but I saved a beautiful twisted piece of trunk so I can make a seat or end table) and two lunch appointments that I forgot... as well as double booked. I need to pull it together!

On Friday I sculpted for an hour and a half in the morning then grabbed my adventurous sister to seek out the un-responsive Foundry. I discovered nothing. The place looked uninhabitable and kind of like a great set for a horror movie. Curious. Unlike the horror movies, we did not attempt to wander around back and peer in any windows. Maybe he is just taking a much deserved vacation. I then called a few more foundries and discovered that they don't do artistic figurative bronzing. I might have to expand my search to Canada, Oregon and Eastern Washington. I put in another two hours of sculpting to end my Friday.

The entire day of Saturday was spent cleaning up tree debris. I did hear back from my mold casting contact and it sounds like I will be able to have a mold made and a plaster cast poured by May 1st. Very encouraging. So I have one more week to finish the details on First Bond before I meet with this contact and hand her over.

Sunday I felt much more relaxed and I sculpted for an hour in the morning, rearranged my living room, went to one of the forgotten lunch appointments, (Todd remembered this one, fortunately) and then ended my evening with another hour of sculpting, this time on my little attitude torso.

Current feeling: good, confident, in control, and wishing I was home finishing up those details!
Current action: walk to Tully's for a coffee and some investing advice from my latest book. : )

Perspective

Sometimes I get so deeply involved in the details of a piece that I can't see my huge glaring mistakes. I had been working on a little torso for over a year...very sad... and finally had to stop because I just could not turn the corner from "off" to fantastic. I continued to struggle like this, sculpting in spurts, for another year. I could not understand what I was doing wrong and why my piece looked so completely wrong. I was very frustrated and kept mentally harassing myself because I could not muscle through it. Not helpful at all. Finally, I put the piece on the shelf and started exploring my ideas for First Bond. My passion started to flow again and I was off and running.

One day, while working on my little pregnant sculpture, I started to struggle again and my sister took one look and immediately diagnosed the problem. It was too skinny. Hooray for a fresh eye and an undefensive perspective!

In the last few weeks I have learned that with sculpture you just can't muscle through it. For one thing, as you work the clay, it warms up and becomes more pliable. Not that great when you are working on minuscule details often found on fingers. While I hate to stop before I am satisfied, I will be much further ahead if I just stop, put it away, wait for it to cool and for my perspective to readjust. When I mix tired with frustration I become the worst slasher/ hacker. I make hasty decision and can ruin weeks of work in minutes.

Another lesson, I have learned is that it is beneficial to have several pieces going at once. When I am frustrated with one I can move to another. This helps me to see each piece through a fresh eye.

For example: after my enlightening realization that I was sculpting too "skinny", I looked at my first little torso that I had given up on and saw clearly why she was so off. She was completely emaciated! I was focusing so hard on premature belly details that I couldn't see that my massing wasn't complete. In the last three days, when ever I have need a break from First Bond and details I just switch to my little attitude torso and start laying on some much needed pounds. I've included a before an after picture of her which I think speaks volumes. I have also included a progress picture of First Bond which unfortunately is not quite done yet but I think becoming a little more elegant and balanced.

Progress and distractions

I spent an hour and a half last night working on First Bond. I worked on the butt to leg connection, the curve from the back around to the belly connection and then the back of the arm connection to sh older and scapula. I feel very positive about what I accomplished and am looking forward to really pulling these details together tonight.
On the business front, I emailed my mold making contact this morning with no response and have called my first foundry option twice to try and get an interview for tomorrow morning. No response there either..... hmmm. Either they are really busy doing what they do best or they really don't want work. In any case, I think I will get directions and just stop by the foundry, appointment or not, tomorrow and see what info I can gather.

I love progress. : )

Reward through effort

I started out thinking that in writing about my sculpting I was going to write about beautiful things. Yes....Sculptures are beautiful. But the act of sculpting..... it is beautiful, inspiring, invigorating and work. Hours and hours of work. Sometimes those hours go by like flash. Every place I lay my clay down seems perfect. My fingers fly. Thumbs pulling through the different body movements, fingers rolling and placing little clay strips, ...around and around the body I move and the little figure takes life before my eyes. Then there are the hours of frustration and second guessing and endless raking of clay off the figure only to re-applying it in a different spot.

There is a fine balance between this struggle and the heady rush of positive progress. I must learn to welcome this struggle and celebrate it because only through it will I find improvement.

From now on I will use this blog to document my progress and thoughts as I move forward.

I am currently still finishing the details on "First Bond". This Friday I will meet with at least one Foundry to discover if they will be a good fit with my work and get an idea of casting cost. Yes.. the moment of truth. : /

I was thinking yesterday about what first inspired me to want to sculpt.

I walked into Sculpture 101 thinking, "This might be the biggest waste of time but hey..maybe I can make something useful, perhaps a birdbath.." Instead, I saw a poster on the wall of a sculpture that completely captivated me. The energy was SO strong that it still makes my heart race whenever I see a photo of it or even think about it. It is Powerful. "Fighting Stallions" by Anna Hyatt Huntington. That a work of art could emit such energy and evoke such a strong reaction fascinated me. From that moment forward I was hooked. I knew that I wanted to create sculpture that hummed with energy. A life of of its own. This is what pulls and draws me. It is not about capturing a photographic likeness. It is about capturing life.....how we live and what we feel. The emotion and energy the courses through our living bodies captured in solid medium. Captured but not frozen...just vibrating.

I have not been to Brookgreen Gardens, home of "Fighting Stallions". Yet. One Day. : )

Release

I feel good. I made my deadline. I released my creation. "First Bond" is no longer an idea and a dream inside of my head but a physical reality. She is not perfect.....I expect her to grow and tighten a little more...but the emotion and energy is there.

She will now be seen by a panel of jurors where perhaps they will also sense this emotion and it will move them to action. I have no idea what type of action, but I have released the ball... now it can roll. I am squinting out of the mouth of my tunnel and the world is shining, bright and white. I cant quite make out what it holds for me but I know that my options have just expanded and I am excited.

The premise of my art is that every pregnancy is unique and it is during those nine months that the true mother to child bond is formed and relationship begun. It is very quiet and pure time, powerful and full of emotion - not yet clouded by the reality of feeding and changing schedules, audible cries and physical weight. My mission through my art is to capture and express this emotional bond between a particular mother and unborn child and create a unique, lasting portrait. For me the sense of touch is very powerful and can often speak louder than words. I love sculpting hands because they convey so much visual energy and emotion. Thus...the interaction between the Mother's hands and her belly is truly the key inspiration behind each sculpture. It is an intimate conversation unique to each mother and child.

Restless Rain

Lunch Break. I should be walking right now but it is raining. As a true Seattle native I don't own an umbrella. Of course. : )

I snapped a photo of Mia yesterday snuggling on the daybed and all morning I have been clicking on the photo and wishing I was home with her.... sipping a fresh cup of coffee and sculpting.

The other day Mia was relentlessly chasing Jessie around the house. Running from one end to the other.....Mia barking and Jessie hissing and swiping. Truly like siblings fighting and tormenting each other. I finally had enough, took pity on Jessie and locked Mia in my Studio with me. There was a moment of silence and then Jessie's little white paws flashed under the door looking for her playmate. What an innocent little instigator.

What it is

Why does something have to take as much time as I have for it? I am tired and a little frustrated. For the last two hours I have been trying to rebuild a hand that in a bit of impetuous dissatisfaction I destroyed last night....I have to photograph a finished piece tomorrow and now I am starting to anxiously wonder if I will have my sculpture even loosely done.

Time for a smoothie....

The hands are such a key part of this piece. They need to breath with life and emotion. I want them to press into the belly. To feel as if they are supporting and caressing. I might have left them alone. They were OK. But I don't want OK. I want the full potential. I know that I can do better. I have to be patient and protect my vision. I have to be calm and steady. I don't have room for frustration. This piece is about the growing bond between mother and baby. Soft yet strong. It is about love, pride and protection. It is not about a deadline or a photo shoot or the future viewers. It is only about a mother and her baby.

Surrogate Children

I remember having a conversation with Todd last fall about names. In one of our many conversations about having kids he referred to me as "mom". I had an immediate negative reaction and let him know that my name was always gong to be Rebekah and not just "mom" or "mommy". I was afraid of losing my identity in the pursuit of raising a family. I did not want to be thought of as just "mom". Caregiver. I remember thinking of my mom's real name while growing up. How strange it sounded. She was "Mom" to me. I had a hard time identifying life or meaning into her given name.

Todd and I had our first child in October. A total surprise. My sister gave me a French Bulldog puppy and I immediately became "mommy". There was no thought or reflection, i just swept seamlessly into my mommy identity. "yes, you are Mommy's little girl...Do you want to go for a walk with mommy?.....take a nap with mommy?.....Mommy thinks you are such a beautiful baby! ....Mommy is very disappointed in you!....tell Daddy to take you outside!"

I find it interesting how we identify with our pets. They really do become our "children" when we allow them to. They fill a void and become a distraction. We pour love and attention on them and they are truly a jump start to having human babies. : )

Before having Mia I was worried that I wasn't patient enough to have children. I was worried that I would lose my identity as Rebekah and become just caregiver "Mom". Now, after months of potty training, a ruined white wool rug (what was a thinking!), and only having one night in the last 5 months without at "3am-5am potty and pleeeeease go back to sleep" session, I am fully confident that I am a more than adequately patient person. "Mommy" is no longer a term of bondage but of love and pride.